How Chronic Pain Affects Relationships

Living with chronic pain places a strain on all the important relationships in your life. Use these coping strategies to maintain strong ties to your loved ones.

Chronic pain has a ripple effect — not only does it disrupt your life and force you to manage pain, it also changes your personal relationships. Interactions with your spouse, children, family, and friends alter in ways both large and small due to the physical limitations and emotional strain that come from living with chronic pain.

Part of pain management involves accepting these changes and using them to form better and closer relationships with the ones you love. By learning to better cope, you will be able to manage pain and keep friends and family close.

Living With Chronic Pain: Maintaining Relationships

The effect chronic pain has on your relationships depends in large part on the amount of pain you are in, as well as how you relate to each person in your life:

Your spouse. Partners of those undergoing chronic pain management face incredible challenges of their own. Intimate relations with a spouse can be difficult, depending on the source and intensity of the pain. A spouse may also have to take on more household and parenting responsibilities as the person living with chronic pain becomes less able to function. Money worries due to hospital bills and decreased income can place additional stress on the relationship.
Children. It can be upsetting for young children to see a parent in chronic pain. They may be confused about what's going on, and anxious because their future seems very uncertain. They may also feel anger that you're not as available as you once were, or guilt if they assume they did something to cause your pain.

Family and friends. People living with chronic pain often withdraw from relationships outside their immediate family, which can lead to estrangement from other family members and friends. Attempts to reach out might be rebuffed if the person is experiencing a pain flare-up or has suffered a decrease in self-esteem as a result of the illness.

Living With Chronic Pain: Staying Connected

Coping strategies that can help people living with chronic pain stay close to their loved ones include:

Find a communication balance. The people in your life need to know how you are feeling. Staying silent will only cause them to feel estranged from you. On the other hand, sharing too much can cause them to feel overwhelmed, helpless, or depressed. Try to find the right balance. Keep in mind that it will be different for each person in your life.

Discuss your sexuality with your spouse. Chronic pain does not preclude lovemaking, but it can mean that more planning is required. Make plans for encounters that fit into your medication schedule and the ebb and flow of your daily pain. Don't be afraid to experiment with new positions for lovemaking if your favorite position now causes too much pain.

Avoid canceling plans with friends. Don't let chronic pain keep you from interacting with friends. Canceling plans can be disappointing for all concerned, so if you can manage some level of activity with your pain, you should.

Take on manageable household responsibilities. If you find yourself unable to perform certain chores that were once your responsibility, replace them with new tasks that you are able to perform. This will keep you an active and contributing member of your family.

Ask for help. Giving your loved ones a chance to help you in some way can make them feel closer to you. Often they want to help out, but aren't sure how to offer for fear of offending you. If you're having trouble with an activity or chore, ask them to lend a hand.

Dealing with chronic pain can be frustrating, but communicating and staying close to your loved ones will help you cope with daily living.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/pain-management/how-chronic-pain-affects-relationships.aspx

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